and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
