The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
