who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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