I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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