I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
