Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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