remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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