She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
