she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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