i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
