So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
