chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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