Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
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