yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
