Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
