and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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