You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
