Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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