And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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