i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
