8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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