I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
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