You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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