Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
