quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
