This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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