susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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