Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.

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(219): View more from Indiana

surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on

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(937): View more from Ohio

And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.

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(314): View more from Missouri

At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?

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(740): View more from Ohio

your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.

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(360): View more from Washington

Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship

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