I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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