i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
