I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Can I color on your dick again?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
