apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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