When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
