your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
