you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize