What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
