Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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