So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I am spending my child support on dildos
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
