apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
