Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
