I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
