A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dicks are not precious.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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