...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
