where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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