Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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