Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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