Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
