hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
