But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
why do cheetos always look like penises
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
