Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
