he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
