And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
