I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
