All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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