Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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