FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
