i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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