oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
