Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
