Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
