You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
