I wanna passion pit in your ass
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
