so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
