When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
