God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize