so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
