I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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