all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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