Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
