too bad you live with your parents still
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
