so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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