I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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