Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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