are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
