Who wears a wallet chain?!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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