Responsibility does not care about your dick.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
