I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
