Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
