when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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