there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize