he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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